This may be mean, but…

...after Rosco goes to bed, I throw away his stuff.

Not all his stuff, just the broken plastic stuff that he totes around all day.  I figured it’d be way too cruel to trash it while he’s awake and looking for it, so I just get rid of it at night.

I just threw out his art supply kit and I’m about to trash one of his little toy cars that he got from the dentist’s office (it’s missing its wheels).  Last night I threw away this red plastic salad bowl he uses to “cook” blocks in.  It had a huge dangerous crack in the bottom because he’s been turning it over and standing on it to reach light switches.  He asked me where it was today and I told him, matter-of-factly, “I threw it out because you stood on it.”

His response?  “Oh.”  Then he walked away.

Unlike some people (*cough cough*), we scorpios don’t feel the need to hoard things.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/08 at 08:37 PM
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It’s a circle.

Scott: “Can you make $40,000/year writing?”

Me: “Only if Rosco is in daycare.”

Scott: “But then you really wouldn’t be making $40,000 because you’re paying for daycare.”

Me: “Exactly.”  *types*

Posted by Tiffany on 10/08 at 11:08 AM
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Ugh, comment spam.

I hate having to make my blog commenting settings like Fort Knox.  I love getting comments and snickering at the funny things people say.  The problem is, if I make commenting to easy, bots comment spam me.

If you’re not familiar with what that is, it’s sort of like email spam but instead of getting one or two messages about “cheap $Calis$,” you get dozens of comments stuffed onto old entries with link-backs to whatever website it is they’re trying to get you to navigate to.

Because my blog is set up for humans only to comment (‘cause you have to read the image code), and because my server settings throttle a certain number of comments by one person in a time frame, I’ve been successful at not having any comment spam since I upgraded to ExpressionEngine 1.6.7.  Until now.

I’ve had someone going in late at night (or early in the morning depending on geography) leaving a bunch of comments on posts from a few weeks ago (you really can’t comment on anything older than that because I shut those comments down automatically).  Weird thing is they’re sensical comments about lazy cats and household rodents. The only reason I know they’re spam is because person’s name is always like “cheap web hosting” and they always link back to some lame-ass internet company.

So, someone is getting paid a few cents per comment to come in and stuff their shit into my blog to increase their web index.

Well.  I like comments, but spam comments don’t give me that same special giggle.  *delete*

ETA: the spam is all coming from an IP address located in Pakistan: 115.186.15.222.  Go on and blacklist that one, folks.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/07 at 09:20 AM
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That’s $3.50 per pill.

This cost $35 out of pocket.  Scott’s PA prescribed it to me on the off-chance I’ve been exposed to his germs (of course I have).

You know what else I can get for $35?

-A really nice shirt from Gap
-A pair of Crocs
-A tank of gas (ok, 3/4 of a tank)
-1.5 ink jet cartridges
-A new case for my iPhone or an aux cable for the car
-A meal for 3 from Chick-fil-A
-A professional haircut for Scott (who uses a Flow-bee)
-A damned good bottle of wine (or a bunch of cheap ones)
-A cheap-ish frame for my college diploma
and the list goes on.

BTW, “Common Side Effects: Nausea; vomiting.”

Damned if I do and damned if I don’t, apparently.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/06 at 04:48 PM
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Plague Update

Scott’s plague has a name: flu.  Yippie.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/06 at 03:14 PM
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iTeach.

I don’t like paying for iPhone apps.  It’s not that I’m cheap, really, it’s just that if I’m at home most of the day with two computers and a television, I don’t need extraneous little doo-dads to fill my time.  I use my phone mostly for communicating on-the-go, surfing the web from bed, and navigating Durham’s streets.

I decided a couple of weeks ago to look around and see if I could find some Rosco-friendly apps.  He’s already figured out how to activate the iPhone screen and pushes all the icons.  I was worried he’d make a few “oops!” phone calls, so I thought that if I put a couple of programs on my phone just for him he’d limit himself to those.  Also, I figured that if we were ever at a restaurant or something and he was pitching a royal fit I could give him the phone to distract him.

I downloaded a veritable shitload of educational kiddie applications.  Eighty percent of them were basically trashed as soon as I tried them for about thirty seconds.  They were just low-quality and didn’t seem to have a whole lot of educational merit.  I did find two that I kept around and that I’m considering upgrading to full software on.

One is Pre-K Safari by Plow Digital LLC.  It teaches letter recognition using digital animal flash-cards.  There’s also a word game mode where an older preschooler can read the letter, and then try to match it up with the animal that starts with it.  The animation is great.  The only flaw I’ve found with it is the child narrator’s pronunciation of a couple of the animal names (e.g. “porcupine” as “pork-a-pine” and “jaguar” as “jag-wire”).  The full application costs $0.99 in the iTunes store, which isn’t exactly a kick in the head.  I think I’ll upgrade.  Looks like the full version also covers shapes, numbers, and colors, so that’s a pretty good deal.  I let Rosco play around with it last week, so I can vouch for the fact that a 3ish-year-old will find it enjoyable.

The other is iWriteWords by gdi.  Basically, it helps little kids learn to write letters and numbers by having them trace them with their finger on your iPhone/iPod Touch screen. There’s a slight learning curve while you explain (repeatedly) that they need to make the crab eat the numbers and then that they need to tilt the phone to make the little vortex eat the letter.  I need to play around with this one some more.  I’ll get back to you.

Have you downloaded anything good lately?

Posted by Tiffany on 10/06 at 11:50 AM
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Scott has plague.

(Yes, he is sleeping with his coat on.  He did at least take his sneakers off.)

I think it’s a different kind of plague than the one I had last week, so I’m not happy right now.  I’m fixin’ to go sprinkle him with some holy water or something because I’m not trying to get whammed again.  Fortunately, Rosco hasn’t been sick yet…or if he has, he didn’t show it.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/05 at 08:53 PM
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Rainy day musings

I’ve been thinking about my grandma a lot lately, and I miss her.  I suppose it’s because the older I get, the more I appreciate the sort of parent she was to me. As stubborn as she was, she quietly adapted to my needs without further discussion about it a lot of the time.  One moment would be “No.”  A few weeks later, she’d have fulfilled whatever request it was that I had.

*sigh*

In other news, you know what I can’t stand?  When I find a book by an author that I like, go out and find the rest of his or her books, and the rest are a totally different style from the one you liked.

Rosco really liked Donald Crews’s Freight Train...as did we.  It’s basically a picture book with slightly-abstract artwork of a speeding train.  When I went to the library last week I picked up three of the writer’s other books.  Completely different style.  Scott was reading Shortcut to Rosco and couldn’t stop editorializing on it.  What do you think - do they look interested?

Posted by Tiffany on 10/05 at 11:35 AM
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*faints*

I passed by this private school that happens to have a preschool this afternoon and was curious about tuition:

Yeah.  Okay, no thanks.

For 11k I could hire a private tutor for Rosco and give him or her a free room in the garage to live in, use of a car, and perhaps even medical insurance.

FYI: I don’t really think Rosco needs preschool academically.  He’s old enough now that I’ve been able to discern that, but I do see the benefit of him learning to conduct himself in social situations.  This isn’t the route we’ll go.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/04 at 03:19 PM
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Cheez.

Posted by Tiffany on 10/02 at 02:28 PM
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Miscellany

-I had my six-month dentist’s appointment this morning.  I was immediately annoyed because I was told upon entering the office that children are no longer allowed in the exam area.  This is at 8:50 in the morning when I have Rosco in tow, mind you.  I kind of stood there with a “Excuse me?” look on my face, and then the dental assistant offered to keep an eye on him in the lobby while I had my teeth scraped.

Look - I don’t mind if businesses change their policies.  I just like to be informed about it ahead of time.  If Rosco hadn’t warmed up to the dental assistant that whole thing would have been disastrous and I would have had to reschedule.  Fortunately, the office was basically deserted because the dentist retired and there was a temp filling in.  They were only seeing hygiene patients today, so I was the only one there at the moment.

In case you’re wondering, I seem to have some minor bone loss in my jaw back near the molars I can’t reach.  Hm.  That, and a couple of worn-down teeth that probably come from me grinding my teeth at night.  I have to call my insurance company and see if they’ll cough up the bucks for me to get a night guard.

-Speaking of dental hygenists, she commented that Rosco is smart.  That makes me giddy.  Whereas Scott gets all proud when people comment on Rosco’s attractiveness (I believe his exact reaction is “I know.”), I’m pleased at punch when people observe that Rosco can color inside lines.

-The plague seems to be making its way out of my body.  I only have a mild headache this morning, and not too much stomach *blergh*.  I did drink about a gallon of baking soda water last night before bed, so…

-Rosco needs a new pair of sneakers.  I always dread buying shoes for him because when he grows he REALLY grows.  He may keep a pair of shoes for a year…or three months.  I hate spending $60 on shoes that he’ll only be able to wear for one season.  His Crocs have survived for over a year now because they basically span four sizes (8, 8 1/2, 9, and 9 1/2).  He needs a new pair of those, too, but I’m not ready for my almost-three-year-old to be wearing size 10-11 Crocs, thanks.  Anyway, after I get some work done up in here I’m going to head to the mall and see if I can find these:
.
Yeah, they’re kind of bourgeois, but I don’t like my kid wearing shoes that have cartoon characters or lights or anything else extraneous.  They need to match er’damnthing.

-I’m currently drinking my first cup of coffee in weeks.  I hope it doesn’t rip my stomach to shreds.  I was trying to cut down on my caffeine consumption, but I’ve learned I’m not a nice person when I don’t have it.  So.

-I just realized that we need to start planning our holiday card photo.  Um…

Posted by Tiffany on 10/01 at 11:43 AM
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Back to bed.

I really need to get some work done, but I just can’t.

I feel like I’ve got plague or something.  I don’t know what it is.  It made me feel shitty enough today that I wasted one of my pregnancy tests (I’m a pee-on-a-stick-aholic, in case I haven’t revealed that) to see what’s up.  Of course it was negative, as it should have been considering I just had Mother Nature’s Gift.

Last night/this morning I was jolted awake by stomach grumbling.  No - grumbling isn’t even the right word for it.  It was more like stomach BURNING.  Hunger burning.  It was the second morning in the row.  I rolled myself off the bed after about half an hour and ate a cheese stick to sort of calm it down.  The burning returned by 8 o’clock or so.

In addition to the weird empty stomach feeling, I’ve got queasiness and a lingering headache.  Oh, and my right ear is stuffed up.

I don’t have a fever (at all - I’m hovering around 98 degrees, actually), so I doubt I caught something.

Stomach ulcer?  Mild gastroenteritis?  Thoughts?  I’d really love to chug a bottle of Pepto right about now.  As I’ve stated before, if I don’t write, I don’t get paid.  This blog post is the only substantive thing I’ve written in 2 days.  Can I just be healthy, please?

Jeez.

Posted by Tiffany on 09/30 at 04:36 PM
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I submit for the record Exhibits A and B

Ok, I admit it - although I don’t consider myself particularly conceited, I do freak out about gray hair.  Women in my family just don’t gray, so for me to have a few is like putting me firmly in the “are you sure I wasn’t adopted?” category.  So, I do what any other insane person would do.  I pluck out miscreant hairs, tape them to my notebooks, and examine them up close.

The one on the left is one I found near the crown of my head and had an absolute freak-out over.  Scott talked me down from that one and informed me that it isn’t gray, but yellow.  We had to get out his magnifying glass so I could examine it up close to be certain.

The other one Scott discovered (and probably caused).  It’s gray.  Gray-gray-gray and as long as the rest of my hair, so that means I’ve had it for at least a year.

*sigh*

Let’s just hope I gray gracefully.

Posted by Tiffany on 09/29 at 05:51 PM
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Party Hardy, yo.

R was invited to a birthday party for today and because he loves eating frosting when I queried him about it he said “I love birthday parties!”  Of course, after that assessment we made certain to attend.

Hermit that I am in general, I don’t mind the occasional kiddie party (unless it involves Chuck E. Cheese).  There’s always going to be cake and nobody cares if you have stains on your pants.  In fact, I usually have more fun at kid’s birthday parties than I do at grown-up ones (even the ones with alcohol).

That being said, Scott’s been goading me into planning something for Rosco’s birthday this year and I’m all “Eh.”  He’s thinking of reserving a room at the kid’s museum.  Again, I’m all “eh.”

According to Scott, I must not love my son because I’m not ready to have a birthday party for him.  Fact is, I’m just too lazy to want to deal with that this year.  Too much planning.  Too much organization.  Too much stress.

He’s all, “What stress?  I’m paying for it.”  *sigh*  Men.

Posted by Tiffany on 09/26 at 03:20 PM
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Me zombie. Me eat brains?

Dude.  I feel like gaaaaarbage.

Last night I went to bed at around 2.  I’ve been supplementing with vitamin B6 which has a side effect of causing insomnia.  Rather than toss in turn in bed for hours before nodding off, I just stayed up later.  So, I went to bed and was woken up three hours later (men, avert your eyes) by cramps.

You know - the kind of cramps that have you digging around in your medicine drawer looking for very strong painkillers?  Well, these particular cramps had me sleeping on the cold bathroom floor for about two hours until my 800 mg ibuprofen kicked in.  I thought I was going to die.

I’m not exaggerating this time, y’all.  It was like a flashback to when I was hemorrhaging back in January.  I was lightheaded and having hot flashes (alternating with cold flashes).  I felt so shitty that I was actually thinking, “Well, if this is it, then so be it.”

Funny thing is I actually have an appointment to see my OB this afternoon and I felt so crummy that I thought about canceling it.

Well, I don’t think I’m bleeding to death from a weird ectopic or anything like that.  I think my endometriosis might be flaring up on me a bit.  I feel a little better now.  Just tired, seeing as how I got like 47 seconds of sleep last night.

Slightly off-tangent rant: This is why it pisses me off when some women say that if you need medication to deal with childbirth then you’re not trying hard enough and you’re weak.  Seriously, I’ve read people online posting that kind of shit.  They say you can will yourself through the pain.  Well, guess what?  Not everyone’s pain is the same!  It’s not “in our heads!”  I bet these are the same women who have periods that are like flutters.  Certainly, none of them have ever thought that menstruation felt like a terminal illness.  SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE EVERYONE’S PAIN IS THE SAME, martyrs!  Shut that shit up.  Epidural?  Hell yeah.  I wish they had them for home delivery.

Posted by Tiffany on 09/25 at 09:51 AM
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