Oh.  My.  God.

So, I don’t like to name names, but SOMEONE decided to change his own diaper this morning when his mom wasn’t waking up fast enough.  By the time his mom got to his room, he had taken his poop-filled training diaper off and was in the process of trying to put a pair of underwear on himself. 

Because the unnamed SOMEONE isn’t all that hygienic, he didn’t bother to wipe the poop off his butt before trying to put the clean underwear on.  Instead, he sat his poopy butt on his cloth-covered chair while trying to get his pants up.

So, the first thing mom had to do this morning was do damage control on the butt and legs before the filth spread to any other parts of the house.  Then mom had to soak his chair cover.

Now mom can’t even get a cup of coffee because the coffee maker decided not to work this morning.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/31 at 09:16 AM
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Color me…bad!

There’s a restaurant in Durham (and Carrboro) called Elmo’s that we visit when we’re in the mood for diner-style food.  We were there last Thursday for lunch.  I think the last time we were there Rosco was was less than a year old and was still at the stage where he could be easily quieted with a cracker or two.  Nowadays when full-service restaurants see little ones of the pre-school age coming they’re quick to whip out a coloring page and some crayons.  It happened when we were at See Wee in South Carolina last month, it happened Saturday at Red Robin, and Elmo’s is no exception:

It’s just a photocopied half-sheet of paper, but it kept the kid distracted long enough for his grilled cheese sandwich to come out.  The really great thing about Elmo’s is that they keep the crayons.  They let you borrow them in one of their diner mugs, and then they take them back when you’re done - no more crappy, cheap crayons to take home!

I’m just happy this works for the kid.  Hopefully he won’t stop liking crayons before he grows out of his “I’m impatient, so I’m going to embarrass you” stage. 

Posted by Tiffany on 07/28 at 07:00 AM
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Vanity, thy name is Tiffany.

I had a real honest-to-goodness freak-out yesterday.  I was brushing my teeth in preparation for my weekly trip to the grocery store when I looked in the mirror and saw a HUGE mole on my forehead.  I don’t consider myself to be particularly concerned about my appearance, but the big dot just stuck out at me.

I showed it to Scott and he insisted that it had always been there.  I disagreed.  He shrugged and commented that he still has more than me (and then walked away).  Just to prove him wrong I went digging through my old photos and saw that, yeah, I’ve had it for a while. 

Oops.  That was 2005.  (Yes, that’s the same mole - the side is reversed because one picture was taken using the mirror’s reflection.)

...because it happens to be a little bit raised due to a well-targeted mosquito attack last week it looks particularly larger than usual.  I’m annoyed that I was actually considering a call to the dermatologist to get that sucker removed when it’s been there this long.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/27 at 07:00 AM
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You’re getting sleeeeeepy.

Used to be my kid would sleep 12-13 hours at night and then take a 2-3 hour nap during the day.

Guess what?

NOT ANYMORE.  I had grown accustomed to going to bed at 1 am and still being able to get eight hours of sleep, but recently Rosco decided that he can be perfectly fabulous without the sleep.  Since he won’t sleep when it’s light out, basically he goes to bed after dark (averaging around 9 pm lately) and gets up shortly after dawn, (which I’m guessing is around 7 this time of year?).  Usually that’s when he poops and I have to get up before he starts trying to change his own Pull-Up.

Some of you are probably thinking, “Wow, that’s more than MY kid sleeps,” but this momma likes a little bit of warning before her kid decides to alter his schedule in such away.  Not that I’d go to bed any earlier, but still…

Posted by Tiffany on 07/24 at 10:17 AM
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Wordless Wednesday: Cowboy.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/22 at 11:51 AM
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Well, then.

Rosco told me a little while ago that he loves pancakes.

I believe that’s the first time he’s ever used the l-word in context.

He’s never said that he loves Momma, but he loves PANCAKES.

I see how it is, kid. I’ll remember that.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/17 at 06:18 PM
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She’s alright.

I was terrified we would go into the vet and be told that Bodie had creepie crawlies (of the six-legged persuasion) living in her head, but nope.

I could have fainted at the relief.  The thought just makes me twitch in revulsion.  Bleh.  Nah, she has some yeasty and/or bacterial stuff going on and it should be correctable with drops.  The vet thought that if it’s something that has been recurring (which it has) then it may be her having allergies.  The allergies cause her to get snotty, and therefore bacteria has an easier time multiplying in her ears.  Or something like that.

In case you’re wondering, she did pee in her carrier.  I guess she didn’t have any poop left.

While we were there the vet chastised me about not bringing Bodie in for yearly check-ups, and I had to give her the “mm hmm” face.  I don’t even get yearly check-ups (except of the lady doctor sort, but that’s ‘cause I know I have issues).  She told me that if we don’t keep up to date on the rabies boosters the county could come take the cat away. 

(No they won’t.  Bodie hasn’t had a booster in…three, four years?  The county doesn’t want that cat.  The county has ENOUGH cats.  I doubt taking a house cat that’s afraid of the sound of doorbells is on their list of threats.)

Anyway, she got a three-year rabies shot and I’m supposed to take her back in for a follow-up in two weeks…with a poop sample.  You know—just routine poop examination.  Yeah, I’ll get back to them on that one.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/17 at 10:32 AM
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Flick.

I dread today’s errand.  Normally, people who have toddlers dread things like family trips to Target and immunization appointments.  Not in this house.  We dread taking our cat Bodie to the vet

See, Bodie has a problem - every time she gets put into her carrier she poops.  You know how people sometimes use the phrase “scared shitless”?  That’s her.

I scheduled today’s appointment for 3 pm hoping she’d have everything out of her system by then, but knowing her she’s holding back.

We’ve been putting off this vet appointment for too long thinking the problem would resolve itself, but it’s only getting worse.  One of her ears is super-waxy, and when she scratches at it wax flicks out.  I’m serious: I couldn’t make this stuff up.  Anyway, there’s cat wax splatter on the walls and it’s really starting to frustrate us.  Even if you swipe the goop out with a baby wipe the next day it builds up again.  Peering inside (as best as my stomach can manage), I don’t see anything out of place, but I’m not exactly a cat doctor.

Worst case scenario will be that there’s an alien in her head.

...

We’ll see.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/16 at 09:30 AM
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You know what…

(expletive-laced rant to follow.)
I’ve done my fair share of shit-talking about Durham*.  I have.  I’m entitled to - I actually live here.  I know that Durham has its high points and definitely some low ones.

What I can’t stand is when people who don’t live here actively discourage others from moving here because THERE ARE GANGS!!!!!! or because the schools are cesspools (paraphrase) or because if you go grocery shopping at night you’ll get stabbed with a shiv in the parking lot.

Dude.  Let me tell you something.  (And this is a message for anyone Googling “Durham relocation” or any such search string.)

1 - There are gangs everywhere. 
1a - The gang violence in Durham is almost always gang-on-gang, not gang-on-civilian.
1c - The gang activity tends to be isolated to little pockets in a certain area.  (I won’t call any specific area out on the blog, but if you live there you know where it is.  If you’re totally naive, just know that gangs mostly spring up out of neighborhoods where the people are predominately poor and downtrodden.  If you’re looking for $300/month rent, you might end up in one of those areas.  Just sayin’.)

2 - Some schools suck.  Some schools are excellent.  Do your homework.  There’s a veritable shitload of schools in this county.  It chaps my ass to hear people griping about the school system in its entirety because you know what?  The school system I grew up in had a total of FOUR schools.  F-O-U-R.  Two elementaries, one middle school, and one high school - that was it for the whole county.  People have NO IDEA how good they have it to have so many options.  There are 29 elementary schools in DPS and god knows how many charter and private schools.
2a - Schools with higher levels of parent involvement are obviously going to have higher performance.  That doesn’t mean low performing schools are toilets - it may mean there are a lot of kids there who can’t catch up.  That may not be the school’s fault.  Durham schools tend not to bus kids around to “fix” performance issues.

3 - Oh, whatever.  There’s crime everywhere.  Most people take appropriate precautions and never have any issues.  You know how your momma told you not to walk dark alleyways at night alone?  Yeah, listen to her.  Don’t think hope and faith in mankind is going to be a shield of any sort. Talk up the people in the neighborhoods you’re looking at moving into and find out the real deal.  Driving past one or two sketchy neighborhoods does not make you an authority on the area.

Thanks.  That’s all.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/14 at 08:40 PM
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Cool

You know, the longer I live here the more I appreciate the benefits that come with living in a metropolitan area.  While I do miss living in the boonies, I can admit that “home” lacks a few amenities.

I love that there’s so much to do around here (should Rosco and I actually get it together enough to get out and do it).  Because I’m a technology hag and follow Durham’s Museum of Life and Science on Twitter, I was invited to a one day only sneak-peek of their soon-to-open Dino Trail.  (VIP, baby!)

The museum already has enough exhibits to keep a small child occupied for most of the day (and honestly, I didn’t know some areas existed until today when I finally looked at a freakin’ map).  The Dinosaur Trail is still a wee bit from completion, but what’s up so far is pretty impressive.  Ginormous dinosaur reproductions galore.  Rosco’s current obsessions are things with wheels that go “vroom” but second to those, he likes identifying animals.  Although a stealthy cold snuck up on him today and made him grumpy he seemed to enjoy getting up close to the exhibits and squinting at them.  (I can never tell when that kid is enjoying himself: he wears a blank-face most of the time.  I’ll know for certain next time he sees a dinosaur in the toy bin at Target and demands for it to be purchased.)  I’m just glad he knew they were fake dinos and not real animals that were going to chomp-chomp-chomp us.

You can check out some more Dino Trail preview pictures in my Flickr set or go to Flickr and search for pertinent tags to see other folks’ stuff.

The trail officially opens July 25th, but I’m glad we had a chance to preview it.  Nothing like being the first.*

Posted by Tiffany on 07/11 at 07:46 PM
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Lazy mommy.

You know, I hear/read about other moms who have kids Rosco’s age who can recognize letters and numbers.

Well, I honestly don’t know if Rosco can recognize letters and numbers.  And to be even more bluntly honest, I sort of kind of don’t care.

yeah, yeah - gasp, gape, etc.

Here’s the thing - I’m a very passive learner.  I see stuff a couple of times and then long-term memory kicks in to do its job.  This is why I learned the alphabet from watching PBS and not from anyone specifically dictating it to me.  I taught myself to read by listening to stories on tape and following along with them in the books.  I do not do well with cramming or flashcard learning.  I know my brain doesn’t work that way.

I don’t know what kind of learner Rosco is yet.  Hell, for that matter I don’t even know what kind of learner Scott is, but I do know that I’m not going to be good at forcing the kid to learn stuff.  I also know that he’s going to be almost 6 when he enters kindergarten (if he’s on a traditional calendar, anyway).

Frankly, I’m just not that into it right now.  Yeah, yeah - he’s going to grow up to be a hoodlum because I didn’t light a fire under his ass at 2 1/2.  I apologize in advance.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/10 at 12:28 PM
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Open wide.

Rosco had his semi-annual visit with the pediatric dentist today, and per his standard operating procedure for people wearing scrubs or white lab coats, he behaved like a perfect angel.

Hmph.

Anyway.  Things of note:
1) Rosco has big teeth.  Scott says it’s because I have big teeth (I don’t - my teeth are perfectly sized for my mouth), but the hygienist said it might be an indication that he’s going to be ginormous some day.  Well, heard that before.
2) Rosco is perfectly capable of following directions from authority figures who are not his parents.  I don’t understand why kids behave for people who can’t punish them for acting up.
3) Rosco thought the receptionist was his Nana.  I told him that she wasn’t, but that she was probably someone’s Nana.  (He then went on to repeat “Someone’s Nana.”)  When I actually looked at the woman, which I should have done in the first place, I saw that she actually did look like his Nana.  Apparently Nana has a doppelganger in Chapel Hill.
4) They gave him a balloon which freaked me the hell out.  I hate balloons.  I told him it would be his special car balloon and made him leave it in there.  I hope the heat makes it shrivel up and die today.  I HATE IT WHEN BALLOONS POP.
5) Rosco needs to be drinking 8 oz of city water every day for the fluoride.  Oops, my bad.  It’s been milk and juice during snacktime.  He plays with water, so we’ll need to get better at that.
6) No cavities, thank heavens.
7) Rosco can’t identify a lollipop in a picture because he’s never had one.  The hygienist insists we keep him ignorant about candy for as long as possible.  I’m cool with that.  The kid gets hyper after eating things like CHICKEN.  Who knows what candy would do to him?

Posted by Tiffany on 07/09 at 12:18 PM
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FINALLY!

My betas are at

<5 so I am *officially* not pregnant, the never-ending ectopic has ended, and I can move on with my life.

*

does a Mick Jagger strut*

Booze tonight, woo!

In other news, Scott has been painting the kitchen.  We’re half done as we still need to replace the fixtures and paint the eating area, but trust me when I say it’s a 1000% improvement from the previous scheme.

Posted by Tiffany on 07/07 at 09:05 AM
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I’ll go, but I’m not singing.

A while ago, I blogged about Rosco’s first library storytime experience.  It didn’t go well.  While he didn’t exactly melt down, he did make very clear that he though the entire situation was extremely LAME.  (Hell, I think singalongs are lame, too, but I digress…)

Since that particular storytime was focused at kids 3-5 I figured that at 2.5 he could handle it.  Nah.  Those kids were ... um.  Okay.  Let’s put it in terms of an metaphor.  Those kids were a steamroller.  Rosco was a little bug crossing the road in front of it.  He froze up and stayed glued to my lap.

So, when the two-year-old storytime came back around and was open for registration I stayed up until midnight the night before to make sure he’d get a spot (they fill up fast).  His first storytime of this series was yesterday.  He was slightly less timid, but didn’t want to stray too far from my lap either.  I was annoyed that there were kids who were 4 and 5 in the group answering questions aimed at the 2-year-olds, but I digress.

He actually participated in the songs with his little musical instruments, but being my kid he doesn’t sing or make animal noises on cue (so, yeah, props to you mommies who love singing “Skidamarink” in front of other people.  There’s a reason I’m not a Kindergarten teacher, huh?).

He did like the little craft at the end which was a coloring page with some glue-ons:

He stared at it all the way home:

Posted by Tiffany on 07/02 at 10:41 AM
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Feeling like gaaaarbage today.

My friend greeting me this morning.  While I should be happy to see my friend, most of the time I need ibruprofen to endure her.  I can’t take ibuprofen yet.  I took two extra strength Tylenol this morning and my uterus is laughing at the insult.

I’m tempted to take one of those Tylenol 3s left over from my surgery, but I’m afraid I’ll end up passed out on the sofa and R will burn the house down while I lay in a puddle of my own drool.

What to do…hmm…

Posted by Tiffany on 07/01 at 12:12 PM
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