The Snarky Momma occasionally (okay, sometimes) reviews products on her review blog related to parenting, domestic goddess-try, and personal care. Her opinions are honest, based on her own experiences, and will be published even if she does not find the product satisfactory. She will always disclose how she got a product and whether she was compensated to talk about it. If you want to send her a product, contact her via email at tiffany [at] snarkymomma [dot] com.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Lovely, love my family?
I’ve got family spread all over the country. Like, close blood relatives and not just the “second cousin twice-removed” type thing. Aunts, uncles, first cousins - you know - people that I actually resemble?
Problem is, due to a series of Jerry Springer Show-style events perpetrated by certain family members (ahem.), I wouldn’t recognize these people if I ran smack into them in public.
This annoys me for a few reasons. The first of which being that, well, I don’t have any grandparents left, so those “anchors” are all gone. I was never close to the folks on my dad’s side (refer back to previous paragraph), so my memory of my dad’s mom is really fuzzy. The last time I saw her I was maybe five or six and I don’t even remember what she looked like (I have a habit of not staring people in the face). She died three or four years ago and I didn’t even know until my dad told me recently. For a long time I assumed those folks didn’t care about us (me and my sister), but have learned otherwise recently. (ahem.)
Well, I can’t do anything to fix that now, obviously, but as an adult I can choose to build bridges and reestablish relationships with the folks who remain. Out of all those freakin’ aunts and uncles (and there’s approximately three million of them because back then, in my grandma’s words, they just “didn’t know better”), there’s got to be at least one that I’d enjoy hanging out with, right?
I do know that one aunt lives a couple of hours from here. I could easily pack the kids n the car one day and run up to say hi. But, I’d have to want to.
Do I want to?
I don’t know.
Familial relationships kind of suck for me lately. I really only stay in close contact with my one full sister. She’s the only person on the planet that understands why I’ve cut so many relationships off over the past few years. Even she has tried to get me to soften my heart (ha ha) and let things slide, but nah - I’m good where I am. Took me a long time to feel okay with being a bitch about who my kid(s) get exposed to, so I’m not going to go backwards now.
I guess this is just a lot of rambling about nothing. It’s just weird to have so much family, and to not have more of it I want to spend time with. I’m not a complete misanthrope, ya know?
HUGS! That sucks to have so many family members yet in many ways none. Do you know anything about that aunt? Like her potential to not be toxic like the rest of them? If you think you may like her, it could be worth a call, or an email. Be open and honest with her since you’d probably be contacting her out of the blue. Hopefully, she’ll oblige and perhaps you can build something out of that!
As far as the rest of the fam goes, if you made the decision not to contact them for certain reasons, then stick to what’s in your gut!
Hope the baby is doing well and the big bro is getting used to life with a babe in the house!
You have to do what’s right for your family. You don’t want your kids to be exposed to just anybody. Trust me I know a lot of my extended family & choose to stay away for a reason.
Wow. Same boat-ish here only it’s on my husband’s side. I just found out people are pissed because my husband’s paternal side are in our lives (after they removed them from his life for 15 years) and we enjoy having them in our lives. And since I’m the one who initiated it, you know how popular I am right now.
Family is awesome. Family is crazy. Family sucks. You do what’s best for your family and make sure your children grow up around family that will show as well as say that they love them. Who knows, maybe that aunt will be a god-send.
I need to get her number. She might be listed - have to check. I can’t do diddly squat without someone in my family passing news around. If I ask Person A what the aunt’s number is, Person A will tell Person B that I was asking about the aforementioned aunt and before long I’ll have all kinds of people in my bid’ness (asking questions like “What are you calling her for?”).
Lovely, love my family?
I’ve got family spread all over the country. Like, close blood relatives and not just the “second cousin twice-removed” type thing. Aunts, uncles, first cousins - you know - people that I actually resemble?
Problem is, due to a series of Jerry Springer Show-style events perpetrated by certain family members (ahem.), I wouldn’t recognize these people if I ran smack into them in public.
This annoys me for a few reasons. The first of which being that, well, I don’t have any grandparents left, so those “anchors” are all gone. I was never close to the folks on my dad’s side (refer back to previous paragraph), so my memory of my dad’s mom is really fuzzy. The last time I saw her I was maybe five or six and I don’t even remember what she looked like (I have a habit of not staring people in the face). She died three or four years ago and I didn’t even know until my dad told me recently. For a long time I assumed those folks didn’t care about us (me and my sister), but have learned otherwise recently. (ahem.)
Well, I can’t do anything to fix that now, obviously, but as an adult I can choose to build bridges and reestablish relationships with the folks who remain. Out of all those freakin’ aunts and uncles (and there’s approximately three million of them because back then, in my grandma’s words, they just “didn’t know better”), there’s got to be at least one that I’d enjoy hanging out with, right?
I do know that one aunt lives a couple of hours from here. I could easily pack the kids n the car one day and run up to say hi. But, I’d have to want to.
Do I want to?
I don’t know.
Familial relationships kind of suck for me lately. I really only stay in close contact with my one full sister. She’s the only person on the planet that understands why I’ve cut so many relationships off over the past few years. Even she has tried to get me to soften my heart (ha ha) and let things slide, but nah - I’m good where I am. Took me a long time to feel okay with being a bitch about who my kid(s) get exposed to, so I’m not going to go backwards now.
I guess this is just a lot of rambling about nothing. It’s just weird to have so much family, and to not have more of it I want to spend time with. I’m not a complete misanthrope, ya know?
Posted by Tiffany on 07/14 at 11:11 AM
_______________________________________________________________HUGS! That sucks to have so many family members yet in many ways none. Do you know anything about that aunt? Like her potential to not be toxic like the rest of them? If you think you may like her, it could be worth a call, or an email. Be open and honest with her since you’d probably be contacting her out of the blue. Hopefully, she’ll oblige and perhaps you can build something out of that!
As far as the rest of the fam goes, if you made the decision not to contact them for certain reasons, then stick to what’s in your gut!
Hope the baby is doing well and the big bro is getting used to life with a babe in the house!
Posted by Melissa (adventuroo) on 07/14 at 12:23 PM
***Right now all I know about the aunt is that she’s pissed that there was an estrangement in the first place.
I probably at least owe her a phone conversation to suss out her drama level.
Posted by Tiffany on 07/14 at 12:34 PM
***You have to do what’s right for your family. You don’t want your kids to be exposed to just anybody. Trust me I know a lot of my extended family & choose to stay away for a reason.
Posted by Keya on 07/14 at 03:44 PM
***Wow. Same boat-ish here only it’s on my husband’s side. I just found out people are pissed because my husband’s paternal side are in our lives (after they removed them from his life for 15 years) and we enjoy having them in our lives. And since I’m the one who initiated it, you know how popular I am right now.
Family is awesome. Family is crazy. Family sucks. You do what’s best for your family and make sure your children grow up around family that will show as well as say that they love them. Who knows, maybe that aunt will be a god-send.
Posted by tina on 07/16 at 11:02 AM
***I need to get her number. She might be listed - have to check. I can’t do diddly squat without someone in my family passing news around. If I ask Person A what the aunt’s number is, Person A will tell Person B that I was asking about the aforementioned aunt and before long I’ll have all kinds of people in my bid’ness (asking questions like “What are you calling her for?”).
Posted by Tiffany on 07/16 at 02:42 PM
***