Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Or how about if I get the CATS to clean the house?

You know what I need to do before our vacation (other than asking the neighbors to feed the cats)?  Clean this entire house.

Stop laughing; that’s not funny.  I’m capable of cleaning.  For real, I am.  I can clean real damn good.  Most of the time it just seems pointless, so I don’t bother.  There are other things I could be doing with my time that would be much more enjoyable.  For example, I could be surfing the interwebs.

I do like the idea of coming back to a clean house and plopping on to a clean, made bed and shuffling my feet on vacuumed floors.  Whenever me and my grandmother left for a long trip she had this ritual of “battening down the hatches.”  She’d clean out the fridge so there’d be no stink in there upon our return, tidy up the bathrooms, catch up on laundry, etc.  Of course, her house was always immaculate (my room being the exception) to start with, so doing this wasn’t that big of a chore.  She had one of those houses where you could go in on any two random days and see vacuum tracks left in the carpet.  I don’t bother with vacuuming.  As soon as I do it one of the cats starts to wallow on the floor (even though the prissy little skanks aren’t typically floor dwellers).

I just want to come home and have my house smell like the freshness of springtime.  Is that too much to want?  I even called the pet hotel to see how much it would cost for us to board the cats for a week or so.  It would be reasonable if we kept them in the same cage, which is an option, but they would kill each other.  I bet you anything we’ll get home and there’ll be a puddle of cat piss in the kitchen, another behind the front door, and a lake-sized one in the laundry room.

Posted by Tiffany on 02/23 at 12:17 PM

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